Brian Armstrong: Last in Drinking, First in Health

Brian Armstrong, the chief executive of Coinbase, placed 39th out of 39 participants in a drinking competition featured on Stripe’s Cheeky Pint podcast. Still, he insists that finishing last actually means he came out ahead.

The ranking was put together by European tech publication ETN. After adjustments, Irish robotics entrepreneur Will O’Brien topped the list with a rate of 3.31 pints per hour, roughly 25 times higher than Armstrong’s 0.13.

Why Armstrong Considers Last Place a Victory

John Collison, who co-founded Stripe, hosts the podcast while drinking Guinness. Initially, ETN’s tally of total pints placed Elon Musk in first, with three consumed.

Musk responded that he seldom drinks. The revised ranking accounted for alcohol percentage and duration of each episode, moving him down to ninth position.

Will O’Brien is the co-founder of Ulysses, a startup specializing in underwater robotics. He consumed two pints of Guinness plus a tequila shot in less than 50 minutes.

Following this, he posted a celebratory message on X (formerly Twitter) and jokingly aimed a comment at Musk.

Armstrong interpreted the same figures from a different angle. He considers the last spot on the drinking leaderboard as the top position in a 'healthmaxxing' ranking.

All warfare is based on deception. I actually got first place on the healthmaxxing benchmark.

Don't worry though Will, the other company I co-founded is developing drugs to rejuvenate your liver, so I got you. https://t.co/j6pjWOBWL4

— Brian Armstrong (@brian_armstrong) October 16, 2026

Will a Longevity Startup Pay for the Drinks?

Armstrong also suggested a solution for O'Brien. He referenced NewLimit, a biotechnology company he co-founded that works on rejuvenating aging cells.

The chief executive has substantial personal investment backing his jest. He and his co-founders provided $110 million of their own money to start NewLimit.

Last June, NewLimit secured $435 million in a Series C financing round headed by Founders Fund, giving the company a valuation of $3.1 billion.

The firm's main project focuses on the liver. It intends to launch its first human trial in 2027 for fatty liver disease, followed by a later study targeting liver damage from alcohol.

In public, Armstrong is recognized for making striking predictions. He has claimed that on-chain reputation systems could take over from traditional credit scores and cautioned that a malicious AI might cause internet disruptions.

The joking, however, highlights a wider trend in Silicon Valley: entrepreneurs are funding longevity research with the same seriousness they apply to software. Armstrong, who forecasts Bitcoin hitting $400,000 by 2030, is wagering that the next major payoff could be increasing healthy lifespan.